Setting Parental Boundaries

And Personal Self-Control

Part Two

3/2/08

 

 

(The following was used with a PowerPoint presentation, the asterisks indicate slide changes.)

 

*Setting Parental Boundaries

 

*And Personal Self-Control (Part Two)

 

Pray

 

*2 Tim. 3:1 (Living Bible) You may as well know this too, Timothy, that in the last days it is going to be very difficult to be a Christian. ²For people will love only themselves and their money; they will be proud and boastful, sneering at God, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful to them, and thoroughly bad. ³They will be hardheaded and never give in to others; they will be

 

*constant liars and troublemakers and will think nothing of immorality. They will be rough and cruel, and sneer at those who try to be good. ⁴They will betray their friends; they will be hotheaded, puffed up with pride, and prefer good times to worshiping God. ⁵ They will go to church, yes, but they won’t really believe anything they hear.

 

If parents do not establish boundaries for their child, as that child grows into a young adult and into adulthood, they will find it extremely difficult to establish their own boundaries.

 

*1 Pet. 4:7 The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.

 

*1 Pet. 5:8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ⁹Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

 

*(Blank)

 

Parental respect is at an all time low!

 

Respect for authority as a whole is at an all time low!

 

Having a healthy understanding of discipline is terribly lacking from the home to the court systems in America.

 

When a child does not respect his/her parents, they will have little or no respect for any authority.

 

*2 Tim. 1:7 (KJV) For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

 

*2 Tim. 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

 

*(Blank)

 

It is our responsibility as parents to set boundaries for our children.  Self control and self discipline is something that grows from us having received healthy discipline as a child.

 

Someone emailed this to me this past week that I thought was good.

 

What happens to the boy or girl/man or woman who lacks self control?

 

*Pr. 25:28 Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.

 

*(Blank)

 

Let’s talk about boundaries.

 

It is your responsibility before God to set up boundaries for your child.

 

Remember King David?  David was a mighty man of God but he didn’t know how to handle his own children.  He could lead a nation but he couldn’t lead his own family.

 

*1 Ki. 1:5 Now Adonijah, whose mother was Haggith, put himself forward and said, “I will be king.” So he got chariots and horses ready, with fifty men to run ahead of him. ⁶ (His father had never interfered with him by asking, “Why do you behave as you do?” He was also very handsome and was born next after Absalom.)

 

It is your responsibility to get involved with the affairs of your children!

 

Boundary number one…

 

*The Tongue!

 

The most undisciplined part of humanity is the tongue!

 

*Pr. 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

 

Parents, if you allow your child to disrespect you with their mouth, you are doing them a tremendous injustice in the development of their character.

 

*Pr. 20:20 If a man curses his father or mother, his lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.

 

Without question, it is your responsibility to set up boundaries around the way your child talks.

 

*(Blank)

 

Growing up, I never talked back to my parents, never screamed at them, they never heard a curse word come out of my mouth…was it because I was such a well behaved child?  No, it was because, I valued my health and wellbeing!

 

*Dr. James Dobson has written many excellent books.  Two of which are “The Strong Willed Child” and “Dare to Discipline.”

 

I highly recommend parents to read these books.

 

When Matt was born, Sue and I were in agreement that we would not allow disrespectful talk to come from our children and we didn’t.

 

What they said behind our backs was between them and God, but they didn’t say it in front of us!

 

Boundary number two…

 

*Respect!

 

*Respect for God

 

Respect for God should be taught before salvation is taught.

 

A young child does not necessarily understand salvation, but they understand respect.

 

I remember so vividly when I was a child my cousin throwing the Bible and it crushed me.  I couldn’t believe it.  Because I had been taught respect for God and all that belongs to Him.

 

Let me show you an example of where we have gone from one extreme to another.  It’s about reverence.

 

I don’t want us to have stained glass windows, but we have gone from stained glass to irreverence!

 

Parents let me ask you a question.

 

When you let your child come to church with their Game Boy, cell phone or any other gadget, what are you teaching them?

 

You say, they don’t understand some of your messages.  They don’t have to.  But they can respect God!

 

This facility belongs to God.  He doesn’t live here, but he owns it.

 

In New Orleans, at Jackson Square there is a cathedral called “St. Louis Cathedral.”  Share about when the men went for a tour.  Hats off, respect shown!  They were quickly chastised for having their hats on.

 

*Pictures of the Cathedral… Three pictures…

 

Three Roman Catholic churches have been on this spot since 1718.

 

The cornerstone of the current church was laid in 1789 and the building was completed in 1794.

 

On 25 April, 1909 a dynamite bomb was set off in the Cathedral.

 

Pope John Paul II visited the cathedral in September of 1987.

 

As parents, we must teach our children to respect God!

 

*Respect for authority

 

Teachers should be respected.

Law enforcement personnel should be respected.

Government officials should be respected.

Coaches and referees should be respected.

 

Parents what are you teaching your children when you throw a fit at their ballgame?

 

When we go up to Hope Clinic we respect the authority by not blocking the driveway or yelling and screaming.

 

Do you teach you children to say “yes sir” “no sir” “yes ma’am” “no ma’am?”

 

You may not agree with your teacher but you respect your teacher.

 

You may not agree with a government official but you respect the official.

 

*Acts 23:1 Paul looked straight at the Sanhedrin and said, “My brothers, I have fulfilled my duty to God in all good conscience to this day.” ²At this the high priest Ananias ordered those standing near Paul to strike him on the mouth. ³Then Paul said to him, “God will strike you, you whitewashed wall! You sit there to judge me according to the law, yet you yourself violate

 

*the law by commanding that I be struck!”  ⁴Those who were standing near Paul said, “You dare to insult God’s high priest?”  ⁵Paul replied, “Brothers, I did not realize that he was the high priest; for it is written: ‘Do not speak evil about the ruler of your people.’”

 

I don’t agree with Hillary Clinton, I don’t agree with Barack Obama, I can disagree I can vocalize it, but I don’t have to be demeaning.

 

*Respect for others

 

Respect for humanity should be instilled in every child.

 

Regardless of color, nationality or creed, humanity deserves respect.

 

When you are in a restaurant your children are watching and listening to the way you treat your server.  Do you act like they don’t exist or do you show proper respect?

 

If you don’t respect others don’t expect your children to.

 

*Lev. 19:32 “‘Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD.

 

*1 Pet. 2:17 Show proper respect to everyone…

 

*Respect for property

 

When I was a young boy coming home from school and found the bat on the sidewalk it was very convenient to take it home.  After I had made up every story in the book about this bat my parents finally found out the truth and they dealt with it!

 

My mom and dad taught me the value of respecting other people’s property.

 

Mom with her purse.

 

*Deut. 22:1 (Living Bible) “If you see someone’s ox or sheep wandering away, don’t pretend you didn’t see it; take it back to its owner. ² If you don’t know who the owner is, take it to your farm and keep it there until the owner comes looking for it, and then give it to him. ³The same applies to donkeys, clothing, or anything else you find. Keep it for its owner.

 

Marc Miles and the ½ inch ratchet.

 

Boundary number one was the tongue.

 

Boundary number two was respect.

 

Now let’s talk about boundary number three…

 

*Independence and Freedom

 

Independence and freedom is not a right, it’s a privilege.

 

Freedom doesn’t come free!

 

We are a generation of people who understand little the cost of freedom and we are raising a generation of people who understand it far less!

 

*(The first two pictures) "Many fathers wear a suit and tie to work.  Many fathers have staff meetings and (business appointments).  Many fathers play catch with their sons and attend their daughters' piano recitals.  Then there are those few fathers who feel a higher calling tugging on their soul.  Those few noble individuals who understand that our freedom has been bought and paid for through the sacrifices of others.  Americans have paid the ultimate price in every generation and on far distant shores as well as on domestic soil.  Those heroes fell so that we may stand free today.  Is it any less heroic the sacrifice made by those left behind?  There are even greater heroes walking among us, heroes that have willingly supported those few fathers in their sacrifice and have, thus, put their futures in jeopardy. 

 

*(The next picture) The price of freedom isn't only measured in the blood of heroes spilt but also in the wives left without husbands and the children left fatherless.  I honor the sacrifices of the families left behind who fight their own fight everyday in the same cause, a fight to live free.  These pieces are dear to my heart and I hope that they invoke as much, if not more, emotion as I felt in creating them."

-Nathan Sharp-

 

*(Blank)

 

Granting your child unmonitored freedom is granting the enemy an open door to attack your child without mercy.

 

The temptation they face is greater than what you ever faced.

 

What can be accessed through the internet is overwhelmingly powerful.

 

A child or teenager having unsupervised access to the Internet is open to a world of harmful risks that can be both psychologically damaging and/or physically abusive. Chat rooms have been the area of focus and research in Internet safety for children.

 

The content of the Internet and its capabilities possess much greater risk and danger to children than that of television, movies and music. The primary reason for this is that these other media are often subjected to censorship legislation before they are in the grasp of children. The content of the Internet is widely unrestricted in what it offers or consists of.

 

If you have internet service and have small children, put a filter on your computer.

 

Allowing your child to have a TV in their bedroom is risky at best; with cable or dish access the risk is magnified.

 

Remember privileges are earned, they are not a right.