Setting Parental Boundaries
And Personal Self-Control
Part Three
3/9/08
(The following was used with
a PowerPoint presentation, the asterisks indicate slide changes.)
*Setting Parental Boundaries
*And Personal Self-Control
(Part Three)
Pray
*2 Tim. 3:1 (Living Bible) You
may as well know this too, Timothy, that in the last days it is going to be
very difficult to be a Christian. 2For people will love only
themselves and their money; they will be proud and boastful, sneering at God, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful to them, and
thoroughly bad. 3They will be hardheaded and never give in to
others; they will be
*constant liars and
troublemakers and will think nothing of immorality. They will be rough and
cruel, and sneer at those who try to be good. 4They will betray
their friends; they will be hotheaded, puffed up with pride, and prefer good
times to worshiping God. 5 They
will go to church, yes, but
they won’t really believe anything they hear.
*(Blank)
If parents do not establish
boundaries for their child, as that child grows into a young adult and into
adulthood, they will find it extremely difficult to establish their own
boundaries.
Parental respect is at an all
time low!
Respect for authority as a
whole is at an all time low!
*March 1, last Saturday, 4:00
am in the morning a horrifying event took place.
*A girl aged 16 (Erin Caffey) and
her 19 year old boyfriend planned the slaughter of her family after they objected
to her dating the older boy.
The bodies of her mother, Penny
Caffey, 37, and two younger brothers, Tyler, eight, and Matthew, 13, were found
in their burnt-out home in Alba, East Texas. Each had been stabbed several
times and shot.
The only survivor of the pre-dawn
attack was the children's father, Terry, who crawled 300 yards to get help from
a neighbor. Terry had been shot five
times.
He was in a critical but stable
condition after being airlifted to a hospital where he is being treated for a
gunshot wound to the head.
A wooden sign tacked to a tree in
the deeply religious family's dirt driveway read "Joshua 24:15" and a
burned van was parked near where the home once stood.
Joshua 24:15, a verse from the
Old Testament, read in part, "But as for me and my household, we will
serve the LORD."
The Caffey family was members of
the Miracle Faith Baptist Church and Terry was soon to be ordained as a
minister.
Penny
Caffey was the church pianist and worked as a driver for the local Meals on
Wheels organization.
*(Blank)
Life requires
boundaries. When we are young,
boundaries must be set for us until the time we can set our own.
*1 Pet. 5:8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy
the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9Resist
him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout
the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
It is our responsibility as
parents to set boundaries for our children.
Self control and self discipline is something that grows from us having
received healthy discipline as a child.
What happens to the person
who lacks self control?
*Pr. 25:28 Like a city whose walls are broken down is
a man who lacks self-control.
*(Blank)
Parenting is not easy.
The demands of life can be
overwhelming. With the demands of life,
consistency with your children is challenging.
Single parenting has its own
set of difficulties.
*Here’s an example… Single mom having discipline issues.
It’s not easy.
Did you catch something the
young man said? “You haven’t
disciplined me in a couple of years, why are you starting now?”
The longer you wait to set
boundaries the harder it will be.
Let’s talk about boundaries.
It is your responsibility to
get involved with the affairs of your children!
Boundary number one…
*The Tongue!
The most undisciplined part
of humanity is the tongue!
*Pr. 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Parents, if you allow your
child to disrespect you with their mouth, you are doing them a tremendous
injustice in the development of their character.
Boundary numbers two…
*Respect!
*Respect for God
*Respect for authority
*Respect for others
Respect for humanity should
be instilled in every child.
Regardless of color,
nationality or creed, humanity deserves respect.
Where ever you go your
children are watching the way you treat others.
When you are in a restaurant
your children are watching and listening to the way you treat your server.
They watch the way you talk
to the cashier at the grocery store.
They watch the way mom and
dad talk to each other.
They notice if mom and dad
act like they are better than others.
They notice when mom and dad
go out of their way to help others.
They notice when mom and dad
pray for other people and show compassion and concern.
Every day we are teaching our
children whether it’s deliberate or not.
If you don’t respect others
don’t expect your children to.
*Lev. 19:32 “‘Rise in the presence of the aged, show
respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD.
*1 Pet. 2:17 Show proper
respect to everyone…
*Show the three again.
*Respect for property
When I was a young boy coming
home from school and found the bat on the sidewalk it was very convenient to
take it home. After I had made up every
story in the book about this bat my parents finally found out the truth and
they dealt with it!
My mom and dad taught me the
value of respecting other people’s property.
Mom
with her purse.
*Deut. 22:1 (Living Bible) “If you see someone’s ox or
sheep wandering away, don’t pretend you didn’t see it; take it back to its
owner. 2 If you don’t know
who the owner is, take it to your farm and keep it there until the owner comes
looking for it, and then give it to him. 3The same applies
to donkeys, clothing, or anything else you find. Keep it for its owner.
Marc Miles and the ½ inch
ratchet.
Tell the story of Bob and
Eleanor who found the $10,000 in their basement.
*(Blank)
Boundary number one was the
tongue.
Boundary number two was
respect.
Now let’s talk about boundary
number three…
*Independence and Freedom
Independence and freedom is not a right, it’s a
privilege.
Freedom doesn’t come free!
We are a generation of people who understand little
the cost of freedom and we are raising a generation of people who understand it
far less!
*(The first two pictures) Quoting Nathan Sharp… "Many
fathers wear a suit and tie to work. Many fathers have staff meetings and
(business appointments). Many
fathers play catch with their sons and attend their daughters' piano
recitals. Then there are those few fathers who feel a higher calling
tugging on their soul. Those few noble individuals who understand that
our freedom has been bought and paid for through the sacrifices of
others. Americans have paid the ultimate price in every generation and on
far distant shores as well as on domestic soil. Those heroes fell so that
we may stand free today. Is it any less heroic the sacrifice made by
those left behind? There are even greater heroes walking among us, heroes
that have willingly supported those few fathers in their sacrifice and have,
thus, put their futures in jeopardy.
*(The next picture) The price of freedom isn't only
measured in the blood of heroes spilt but also in the wives left without
husbands and the children left fatherless. I honor the sacrifices of
the families left behind who fight their own fight everyday in the same cause,
a fight to live free. These pieces are dear to my heart and I hope that
they invoke as much, if not more, emotion as I felt in creating them."
*(Blank)
Granting your child unmonitored freedom is granting
the enemy an open door to attack your child without mercy.
The temptation they face is greater than what you ever
faced.
What can be accessed through the internet is
overwhelmingly powerful.
A child or teenager having unsupervised access to the
Internet is open to a world of harmful risks that can be both psychologically
damaging and/or physically abusive. Chat rooms have been the area of focus and
research in Internet safety for children.
The content of the Internet and its capabilities
possess much greater risk and danger to children than that of television,
movies and music. The primary reason for this is that these other media are
often subjected to censorship legislation before they are in the grasp of
children. The content of the Internet is widely unrestricted in what it offers
or consists of.
Here are some boundaries you can set up…
*Install a filter on home computers or subscribe to an
Internet
service that blocks pornography sites such as www.integritv.com
or www.familvsafeweb.net.
*Check out reviews of movies.
*Use parental controls on your television to block
unwanted
channels. A V-chip will read the ratings imbedded in TV shows,
TV movies and videos.
*Do not allow TV's VCRs or DVD players in children's
rooms.
*Keep your home computer in a public area and show
your
children what to do if they stumble onto a bad site.
*Install an accountability feature, such as
covenanteyes.com, on
your computer that alerts accountability partners.
*Check your computer's history to track website
visits. A history
button at the top of most browsers will list every website visited
on that computer in the last few days.
*Help children set up "bookmarks" for easy
access to positive, fun,
educational sites.
*Don't use the computer as a babysitter. Set time
limits on use.
*Use a password for your computer that only adults
know.
*For more tips, visit www.pornproofingyourhome.com.
www.pureintimacv.org (Focus on the Family website)
www.onguardonline.gov or www.intouch.org (Dr. Charles Stanley's
website).
Remember privileges are earned, they are not a right.
Setting boundaries requires a tremendous amount of
wisdom and persistence.
*Eph. 6:4 Fathers, do
not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and
instruction of the Lord.
Don’t be unreasonable in the matter of discipline.
If you are having problems seek help.
*I showed this last Sunday, believe me, these books
are very helpful.
“The Strong Willed Child” and “Dare to Discipline” by
James Dobson.
Discipline issues can cause a tremendous amount of
stress and agitation between a husband and wife.